Commit. You just need to commit. The day I wrote this blog, I was in the highlands of Scotland and got to watch salmon trying to leap up a waterfall. The season was late and the river in full spate. At this time of the year, the tiddlers were probably not going to make it, but that didn’t stop them trying. In the late summer I had seen the big ones jump and jump and jump, trying until…. they got just far enough, got to just the right angle, in the right conditions, to make it up the waterfall. Where to? To their goal. The spawning, mating grounds. Their natural urge was so strong that it drove them on. Temerity is what these fish have. They do it year after year. They practise. They get fatter. They try, try, try again. Don’t get tired of going for it. Don’t let anyone put you off. More importantly don’t put yourself off.
What is all that negative chat going on in your head? Let’s list some of these jitters and deal with them:
My Dad wouldn’t approve. Grow up.
I need to tidy up my room. It can wait 20 minutes.
I’m too tired. Get up early tomorrow and make up for it.
I’m not getting anywhere. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
I’m going to get rejected. If you don’t try you won’t know. You can’t predict the outcome. It’s like love!
I’m not good enough. For what? Don’t do yourself down before you’ve even started!
I’m too old. Nonsense. First novels have been published by 80-year olds.
Sounds a bit harsh, but you need to be the adult advisor in this conversation, not the moany child.
As Estes commented in her book Women Who Run with the Wolves: what nonsense people talk when they say they don’t have time to fulfill their creative urge. In other words, she is asking you, what have you been put on this earth to do? If you are not living hand to mouth to support a large family, you can probably fit something in. It’s a question of priorities. Sometimes you need to and can prioritise. If you put your mind to it, I’m sure that you could ringfence for yourself half an hour a day. Yes, devote the rest of your day to ‘stuff’ – and then give the bit left over to yourself, and the things that matter to you.
Let’s go back to the salmon struggling up a waterfall. He or she is pure beauty, pure sinew. They have been swimming wild in the ocean. They need to return to the base of their being. It is time to go back to the birthing arena. This time they are at the adult stage of life. They have been building up to this moment. When they are coming back upstream, they have to swim against the tide. You will probably find yourself going upstream from popular opinion. Artists cannot help but comment on the times they inhabit. Even those that seek to escape from their environment. You need to be robust, have those fat reserves. You won’t survive the winters without them. You will often be swimming counter to how your family and friends perceive you or want you to be.
Swim against the current. Refuse to loiter too long in the slow pools, waiting for the right moment to jump. Take every chance. When you watch a group of salmon jumping, they give it a few shots, then have to take a few minutes rest before going at it again. A few minutes of rest is okay, but don’t let the current carry you downstream again. Don’t take the easy life. Tune in to your true nature, follow the artist’s yearning to fulfill their potential by journeying upstream: and create. As Yoko Ono said, “I though art was a verb, rather than a noun.” You are not going to get anywhere without moving and going on a journey. Artists are not static.
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